I'm freakin bored. I want to go out with some friends cause I feel the need of socializing with other people. There are a lot of my friends asking me if I want to go out and I said yes come on! where are we going? And they would always tell me let's drink "inom tayo hanggang umaga!" wahahaha. I really have the urge to go out and get drunk with them till am. However im worried about my freakin lungs which cause me to freak out. Im on my medication for about 8months, taking 3 tablets a day. And I would take it for the next 4 months till I finished it. Gosh, How am I supposed to enjoy my last year here in college if Im not able to drink? nyahaha. I know drinking is very bad but im still in my teenage good times so I can't help it.
Anyway this 1 and half week of my semestral break is just good. Good enough to recover my mind and body from being stressed out with school stuffs. I spend most of my time sleeping, texting and having a quality time with my sisters. I planned to hang out with my friends but they seem like so busy. So i'll just hang out with my own bestfriend myself. hehe. Speaking of texting, I just missed texting. During my school days I almost forgot that I have a cellphone. Now that I have a lot of time texting, so I took it as an opportunity to text all of the people who are waiting for my reply.
I have this so-called suitor or already playing a role as my boyfriend. This guy courted me when I was still in my 2nd yr college. Unfortunately there were also some other guys who was courting me so I dumped him or I should say none of them really caught my attention and become my boyfriend. Lately this guy came back and still asking me the same question. He is a nice guy, He said he loves me. he asked me why can't I do the same thing for him. Im really confused at that time. I dont know, I got a bit carried away by his words. So I gave him a another chance. At the back of my mind telling me that somehow I can learn to love him too. ewww ang cheesy! So I made up my mind. I started texting him, finding ways so that we could see each other.
There were times that he wasn't able to meet me because he has to finish some school works. I hope i could understand daw mas importante daw yun.I'm an understanding person naman eh he should have not said the word "mas importante yun" He also added that if I really wanted to see him, go and meet him in his school. "hello? gabi na kaya yun, sa mendiola pa ko pinapupunta" and he said ba naman I guess magisa ka na lang uuwi" pakshet diba. So I decided to go home. I felt a little bit off. So i made up my mind not to text him. The other day he keeps on texting me asking me if I could talk to him over the fone. I replied and said that i'm doing our thesis project and im really busy. Then he replied and said "cge ayaw mo lang ako kausapin eh ingat na lng" hay kakairita. hinayaan ko lang sya.
The next day we'll be having our retreat in Alfonso Cavite. He texted me and said goodmorning how are you? I replied "im ok,kaw? im here at cavite nagretreat kami" he replied that he's ok when we are going to meet?" I did not have a chance to reply because we were not allowed to bring cellphones during our sessions, So I left my fone in our room. When I got back I read all his messages saying "di ka na naman nagreply sana di na ko nagunli" shet! san yung understanding dun. i replied "hello? sabi ko diba nasa retreat ako what do you expect!" I am so irritated. I don't want to see him or even talk to him. On the next day Brother ? I forgot his name. He preached some stuff about guys. Guys should be gentleman. they should treat the ladies right. he added na pag sasakay sa sasakyan dapat ladies muna. I realized na si ano yung lagi na uuna tapos lagi pa sya naupo sa may bintana. I think these were the signs. I also realized that I'm unhappy and di kami magkasundo.
Last monday I made my decision at last! I already have the guts to tell him what I really feel. So I explained to him nicely that things didn't work out. After that I realized that I should have not tried or forced myself to him. I thought this time would be different. I'm tired of trying to make everyone happy trying to fix everything. It's not about giving up. It's realizing that I don't need certain people the bullshit that they bring to my life.
